I am both a woman and a minority and God has called me to lead others. Specifically, God has called me to lead men. More specifically, God has called me to lead Latino men. Now, if you are like most people, I think I know what you are thinking… “Are you sure God has called you to lead men? You may just be biased and want to lead men. Maybe you should pray about it again. Women are not supposed to lead men, men lead men, women lead women.” I assume that you may be thinking these things because these are the thoughts that I struggled with for about a year before I accepted His call for this season of my life.
Why I Struggled…
You see, I am Latina born in Guatemala. I can honestly say that Latino men were the people group that I was always most fearful of growing up. As a young girl, the women in my life always told me to stay away from Latino men. My grandmother, cousins, aunts, and even mother sought to shield me from experiencing the machismo that they believed characterized men of our culture. Being from Guatemala, they had all had encounters with this aggressive masculinity. A man who we would call machismo considers himself superior to all, especially women and will do anything to defend his masculinity. How could I lead the people that I had been raised to fear and avoid? Looking back, I am really grateful that God didn’t give up on calling me in this area, because, now I see how He wanted to fix that brokenness.
When God Called Me…
Let me give a little background story of my situation. My freshman year in college, I started co-leading a Latino Bible study through the college ministry Intervarsity. My sophomore year, one of the new staff members gave all the small group leaders books that she felt God wanted us to have. She had given all of my friends really amazing books that I felt matched exactly what they were going through, so I was excited to receive mine… until I actually did. She gave me, “Beautiful Feet, Unleashing Women to Everyday Practice” by Jessica Leap Fick. It is a book about women discipling both women and men based off of Romans 10:15 that reads, And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” As I skimmed the book, I was confused about her choice. As a fresh follower of Jesus and new small group leader, I never showed an interest in discipling men because I had a male co-leader who took care of them as I took care of the women. Men disciple men and women disciple women. It’s what everyone else did and what felt most comfortable and easy. I quickly put the book down and tried to forget about it for a year.
When God Called Me Some More…
About a year after receiving the book, I was paired with a mentor through a program titled, “Calling Lab.” I had never met mine, so I was concerned that she wasn’t going to know what I was dealing with or understand where I was in my life. Turns out, God had put an interesting passage on her heart for me. Guess what it was. No, not Romans 10, but Isaiah 52:7. It begins, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news…” Crazy right!?
Through my experiences with my mentor and powerful encounters with the Holy Spirit, I found out that my calling definitely focused on Latinos. As I continued to pray and open my heart to God’s voice, I realized it was definitely men I needed to also focus on. Throughout the rest of that entire year, I felt my heart soften towards Latino men and then that continuing year, I knew God was pushing me to talk to the men I had always considered to be machista.
When I Finally Answered Yes…
And there it was, my calling. After almost two years of wasting time, I finally knew exactly what my mission was and accepted it. Although we are call called to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19), God had given me a people group to focus on. If I am being honest, I have to admit that I heard God from the beginning, but I was terrified to listen. Time and time again, God was direct with what he wanted me to do, but time and time again I made up an excuse. Time and time again, I found reasons to disobey. I did not feel qualified enough. I did not feel like I was extroverted enough. As more of my deep rooted insecurities came through, I ran away from His call because I did not feel that I was enough. I realize now however that I don’t have to be because Jesus is and it is Christ in me that qualifies me to live out the calling that God has called me to fulfill.
Once I surrendered to what God had been saying, things began to happen. My male co-leader moved to leading a men’s Bible study instead, so I was all by myself. At school, I began to have more and more Latino classmates. My friends in the community began making Latino friends and knowing my mission, made it their mission to introduce them to me. The machistas I had avoided were being open and responsive. They wanted to learn more about Jesus! What I thought would be impossible for me, was made possible through Him, for Him!
One of my best friends (who is also a female), began leading this small group with me. Together, we have faced our fears and obeyed God together as we have taken steps out of our comfort zones. Although we have struggled a little to live out our yes to God, we have seen such amazing fruit! We began my junior year with only one male in our Bible study, but ended the year with five! The blessing is not merely that these men come to our group, but that they have a deep longing for Jesus and that we are all forming intentional relationships.
When Your Calling is Terrifying…
For me, discipleship was scary! For you, what God has been saying maybe scary too. It may even go against what you have been taught your whole life, but the truth is, God knows best. When we choose to follow “our calling” and live out what we have been placed on this Earth to do, we step into something that is so much bigger than ourselves. If God is telling you to do something out of the ordinary, I encourage you to take that step, even if it is small. Just move forward! If you are unsure, tell a few friends or a mentor who can pray and discern with you.
Walking in my calling wasn’t one giant step, it is a series of small steps that I choose to take every day to remain obedient to God. Somedays I look at how far I have come, and fear tries to set in or I worry that all of the men will leave because I am a woman. It is in those times that I remember who called me. God started something out of nothing. He didn’t just heal my broken view of Latino men, he called me to compassionately share His heart with them as I walk with them through the process of discipleship! Yes, God has called me to lead, but I do so by following Him. He has been faithful to guide me and will continue to be. I just have to keep listening to His call, even when it is terrifying.
Daniela is a Young Adults Ministry intern at Christ Church and currently attends the University of Tampa, where she is pursuing a degree in International and Cultural Studies. Daniela’s favorite things to do include getting to know new people and sharing testimonies of what God has done. She has a passion for diversity and a strong love for both her Latino culture and chicken wings. Follow her on Instagram @danisuassy.
