You are more than enough.
Be unapologetically you.
No one’s opinion matters except your own.
You don’t have to look further than a quick scan of Instagram hashtags to confirm that our society is fiercely independent. We are told to be our best selves and then look out only for that self.
Not surprisingly, God’s blueprint for a fulfilling life looks quite different. His Word instructs us not to find ourselves but to lose ourselves for His sake (Matthew 16:25). We are instructed to “do nothing from selfish ambition…but count others more significant than [ourselves]” (Philippians 2:3).
As Christians today, we live in that tension. The tension between what our culture tells us (“be yourself, look out for yourself”) and what God tells us (“become less, love others more”). This tension is one of the many areas of the Christian life where we must be intentional with our response.
I have found throughout my journey with the Lord that one of the best ways to combat this specific tension is to invest in discipleship and small groups. When we engage in these practices, it becomes virtually impossible to focus only on ourselves; instead we are able to pursue Jesus’ commands to love and serve one another (John 11:34, John 11:14).
Unfortunately, discipleship can be so much of a Christian buzz word that its actual meaning may elude us. You may know what discipleship is but not know how to execute it. Or you may believe Discipleship is the ship the disciples were on when Jesus walked on water (very valid thought!). Regardless of which boat you’re in (pun intended), I want to share a few practical thoughts on discipleship that have helped me practice it.
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Walk it Out! In simple terms, I define discipleship as “walking through life with specific individuals for the sake of helping them know Christ more.” You could also think of this as mentorship that aims to turn people into the image of Christ.
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Get Involved! Consider getting connected to the high school or young adults ministry at your church or with a campus ministry at a local university. Ask the pastor or leader there if there are any students in the ministry who could benefit from being discipled/mentored. Develop personal relationships with the students and pray about how you can help them get to know Jesus more.
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Find F.A.T. People! Discipling someone may look like helping a new believer understand what Christianity is all about, or it may look like supporting and coaching a mature believer who is in a position of leadership. Regardless of the person’s spiritual maturity level, focus on people who are FAT. *gasp* “What?!” F.A.T. is a discipleship acronym I learned in college. We should concentrate our discipleship efforts on people who are Faithful (interested in or curious about faith), Available (have time to commit to being discipled), and Teachable (have a positive attitude about growing and learning).
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Keep it Simple! Small acts go a long way. When I first started intentionally discipling people, I used to get caught up in thinking I had to make really grand gestures and commitments in my discipleship relationships – that I had to be a sort of “Mr. Miyagi” figure to those I was discipling. I became regularly disappointed when I couldn’t live up to that expectation I set for myself. Then I realized that smaller (but just as intentional) gestures were still very effective in helping others cultivate a relationship with Jesus. Things like inviting someone over for coffee and conversations on spiritual life, giving someone a ride to church and using the time to talk about Jesus, or even simply texting someone an encouragement once a week.
At this point, you might be thinking, I’m not sure discipleship is for me. I don’t think I have the personality for it. Remember, the stakes for community are high: God’s Word tells us, “No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us” (1 John 4:12). This means that God’s love is most fully displayed in us when we love other people! I think most of us would agree, regardless of our personality, we want God’s love brought to full expression in us.
On a personal note, being involved in discipleship and small groups over the years has saved me from some very bad habits. For much of my teenage and early adult life, I struggled with dependent relationships. I tended to find one or two people in whom I put all of my emotional needs, and I unhealthily depended on them to reciprocate those feelings with me. I wanted only their affection, and I wanted them to want me back. As I began to understand the destruction of that behavior and work through it, small groups (at various churches that I’ve been apart of) became a very practical way for me to start “diversifying my emotional assets”, so to speak. The more people I had to love and serve with Godly intentions, the less I would focus on being toxically dependent on one or two people.
God’s design for relationships may not always feel comfortable, convenient, or popular, but it is always most fulfilling.
“Jesus came and told his disciples, ‘I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’” (Matthew 28:18-20)
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Allison is a twenty-something who loves people, coffee, communicating, and communicating with people over coffee. She has a passion for God’s Word, discovering the truth therein, and then helping others know that truth. Allison works in Campus Recruiting for Prudential Financial in Newark, but in her free time you will find her catching up on the news, reading, serving in various capacities at Christ Church, and spending time with friends.
